Whether you live alongside mental illness during day-to-day life, or assist someone who does: it can be an uphill battle. A fight that it feels as though it can never be won; relentless and soul destroying.
If I didn’t understand, or didn’t suffer from mental illness personally, perhaps I would too be telling you to “snap out of it”, or that “you’re being ungrateful for the good that you’ve been blessed with”. But the truth is, I do live alongside psychiatric disorders, and have done for most of my life. Within that relatively short span, I have learnt one of the simplest, yet almost universally unaccepted, facts of life: you feel what you feel, and sometimes, nearly all the time, that’s okay. It is not disrespectful to the less fortunate to be unhappy. It is what it is, and there’s no blame in that.
However, maintaining a sustainable-perhaps even enjoyable-level of happiness is, to a greater of lesser extent, within your control. That may, to some degree, empower you. It may scare you shitless. Either is normal, and completely to be expected.
But these are the main methods I use to keep my head above water, and I hope that some, if not all, will be of use to you, too. I’m not a professional, but I know how it feels to hurt, and I know how it feels to recover again.
1. The truth is, some days it is okay to just survive. You roll out of bed, already sensing that today is going to be a write off. No matter what you do, who you see, or where you go, the misery and emotional turmoil seem to stick to your shadow like an ant to honey. The pressure to be happy, to achieve great things, and live a great and fulfilled life can all become too intense. Step away from that weight. Take a break.
If you can’t walk away physically, cut yourself some slack with the tasks ahead. Yes, that essay may be important, and that meeting can’t wait: but all you can ever do is your best, whatever standard that may be. Without meaning to sound trivial or dismissive of daily strains, your health, ultimately, must take priority.
2. Leading on from that, if you do happen to be stuck in an absolute no-escape list of tasks ahead, make sure to plan some “me” time for the next free slot you have. Sometimes even knowing that you have a peaceful evening with movies and duvets can push you through the gritty tasks of the day.
Put that time aside,and let there be no interruptions. Remember, you’ve earnt this. You’ve had a hard day, and it’s important to take the time to recharge, emotionally as well as physically. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
3. Find people who understand. You don’t need people to undermine how you’re feeling or what you’re facing-and without like-minded friends, life with mental illness can be even more lonely and frightening. Being surrounded by those who ‘get it’ is one of the best survival techniques: and fortunately, nowadays, it is easier than ever to find others in the same boat as yourself. The internet is full of support groups, and full of charity-run organisations.
4. If all else fails, use the “half an hour rule”. When the days seem long, and your coping mechanisms are failing you, it helps to break the day down into small chunks. Needless to say, the idea is-solely-to get through, by hook or by crook, each 30 minutes alive. In the past, I’ve used this technique myself. It may seem small and without any particular purpose, but in a crisis, all you need is a short term boost.
You can and will get through the hard days. You’ve been there before, and you will get through this-whatever it may be-again. There is one thing, and one thing alone, that triumphs over the urge to cave in:
The knowledge that hope, is-nearly always-stronger than fear
Reblogged this on NANMYKEL.COM and commented:
Helpful sharing
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Thank you so much Nan Mykel! π
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“The truth is, some days it is okay to just survive.”
yes! i agree. expecting yourself to be a positive and on top of things all of the time is unrealistic and even harmful! some things, we just have to accept, and the biggest of those things is our selves, our souls, our humanity, and with all of those things, our imperfections. π
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Thanks so much for commenting Rose! That was so beautifully put π x
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Very helpful! Thank you π
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I’m really glad! Always here if you need anything π
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Inspiring.
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Thank you so much! π
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I went back and reread this just now after reading it last night. I think #1 is the hardest thing to learn. At least it has been for me. It seems that every single time I go through a rough patch, my therapist reminds me of this.
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That’s true-it’ s certainly not easy to be able to do that sometimes, but it is worth keeping in mind π I hope you’re okay?x
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I’m good now. Back to my “normal” most of the time. I hate that word, but I don’t know another one, lol.
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I know exactly what you mean π x
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So honest and so full of truth – thank you for sharing! Would you mind taking two minutes to have a quick look at my page, I’m pretty new around here! xx
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I’ve only just seen this, but yes of course!xx
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It says you deleted the site?xx
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Hopefully it will work now? xx
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It’s still saying “the author has deleted this site” and “unable to retrieve posts”? We’ll get there eventually π x
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Felt so good after reading this blog. This was helpful.ππ
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Sometimes I feel so downhill and all that I want to do is just to give up. But, I’ve realized that there is hope. There will always be hope! And happiness! Thank you for your post! It made me feel so much better! π
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That’s so true. Hope is literally the saving grace of pretty much everyone I know. I’m glad! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts-your boost of positivity has really cheered me up on a down day π x
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Thank you for this post. It was the advise I needed. I thought I was the only person who divided their day- mine is morning, afternoon and night. I used to stress about the future but since practicing mindfulness and living by the day, life has been made a little easier. You spoke volumes to me when you said is ok to be a little selfish- I often neglect myself to tend to the needs of others and get nothing in return. I am closing the door and trying to out myself first for once. Stay strong and thank you x
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Thank you so much for your comment, I’m glad you can relate π It’s absolutely okay to have times where you put yourself first-after all, if you’re not stable and coping,how are you going to help and support others anyway? It’s good to take time out. Stay strong too, I’m always here if you need someone to vent to π x
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Thank you, you’re welcome x I am always here tok x
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Too **
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This is a lovely piece and really helpful. I’m 18 and only now is my anxiety being addressed, and I’m positive that I’m going to try and implement the half an hour rule, thank you! This is a really great post xx
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Thank you,I’m glad you found it useful! I think that’s a good idea-face life step by step. What kind of help are you getting for your anxiety, out of interest? I’m always here if you need anything!xx
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Mostly breathing exercises while I’m out in public but I’ve taken it upon myself to commit to journaling and as small as that is it’s helping a lot since communicating feelings is the thing that I really struggle with and can’t really do, thank you so much, I’m here for you too xx
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That’s a really good idea. I think it also allows you to look back on and evaluate certain triggers, or situations that make you feel particularly vulnerable. It’s healthy to have that space to reflect π Thank you! Xx
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Yeah I’ve found things a bit easier to digest after writing it down and reading over it later. No worries and thanks for a lovely piece π
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Well that’s really positive :). Thank you so much, you reading and taking the time to comment makes it valuable to me! π x
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This is an amazing and really helpful post! Thank you for writing it x
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Thank you Alice! I’m glad! How are you doing at the moment? X
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I know roughly what you’ve been doing, obviously-but apart from that, is anything much more occurring? X
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I’m doing okay – now that exams are over I’m less stressed so I’m feeling a bit less anxious which is good! How are you? X
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Yes, that’s always a massive relief. Nervous about results day? I’m okay thank you, very busy π x
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Yeah, a bit! I’m trying to remind myself that whatever my results are, they’re those grades already and there’s nothing I can do to change that – but I’m still a bit worried! And with NCS? π x
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Sorry, I thought I’d replied to this! That is so true, and pretty much how I look at things too. Just about to start my last week of NCS-which is somewhat of a relief π x
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Good luck with your last week of NCS! I’m sure it’ll be great x
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The half hour rule has got me through plenty of tough days!
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All of these are so helpful and some of the things I have done. especially #4
Thank you so much for writing this. Your blog and writing helps so many people probably without you even knowing. xx
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Thank you so much Evie, all I ever wanted to do was to try and show people that they’re not alone and that other people do understand what they’re going through xx
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This is so true and also a helpful reminder…thank you!
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Thank you for reading! I’m glad you found it useful, keep up with the good stuff on your end π x
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I’ll try to π
Have a good weekend!
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