Child of Cynicism

"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after year."

This is me

“Every night I lie in bed and wonder, I try to take in the scope of the universe. But somehow, I always fail. The size, the complexity of it all overwhelms me. I am a billion atoms. No more, no less. We all are. We’re pieces of dust, waiting for the day that the sun finally sets on each of us. Through all it’s pretentiousness, through all the cliche metaphors and dull poetry, it’s true.” -My diary, aged 13 and 2/12. Clinically depressed and stuck in a pattern of prolific self harm.

Now 16, I like to think I’ve changed a great deal since then. I still suffer with my inner demons and mental health-but as time has changed, I like to think my outlook on life has become more balanced and level-headed. Although far from perfect, I have healthier coping strategies and have learnt to seek help.

I suppose that this is somewhat of a recovery blog-which is a frightening word and even more frightening prospect: but I’d like to be able to reach out to anyone else who’s also struggling with the problems that life brings! I’m very non-judgemental, and whilst I may not be able to “solve” everything, I’ll certainly try to be comforting and understanding.

 

 

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66 thoughts on “This is me

  1. Hello, I really like your articles and Iā€™d love to know more about your story and thoughts on some of the things you write about. Could I please have an email address to contact you through? šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just read this Kate! Awesome, I’m so glad we (cyber!)met! I was literally just about to log on to tell you that my email keeps freezing. I’m not sure if you’ve replied since, but I’ve not been able to reply. So please don’t assume I’m ignoring you! I hope to sort it soon x

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  2. Hi, I just wanted to let you know that you are an amazing and inspiring human being. Your words have moved my heart as I’m sure it has others’. I look forward to more of your awesome thoughts and ideas and just–thank you. Thank you for existing and creating this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bless your heart! This is such a lovely note to end my day on šŸ™‚ I really never thought that anyone would end up reading (let alone liking!) my blog, so thank you so much! I read your comment on my other post as well, and it’s nice to know that other people are also along the same lines! So thank you for existing šŸ˜‰ I’ll go check out your blog x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well you have to get used to it because you’re awesome and your posts are beyond inspiring šŸ™‚ It won’t be long when others will find your blog and be inspired just as I have been and will continue to be šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah I do, but when I changed the passcode she got annoyed because I must be hiding something….17 years old mum, let it go! Ummmmm…..I can only think of snap chat or email….why is there not a chat feature in here. Im actually going to put that in my feedback to WordPress!

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  3. Not sure where to say this so I figured I’d say it here….just wanted to say have a good day at school tomorrow, remember only 350 something days left? You can do it šŸ˜‰ Kai xxxx

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      1. Don’t know if you’ll see this but CL is being a pain and being special with my log in so if I stop replying that’s why…hope you’re ok?xxxx

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      2. Haha, you’re just such a great person šŸ™‚ So kind and caring despite everything you’ve been through, with courage to face each new day in a way that most would not be able to. You have the power to go far-I don’t think you have any limitations whatsoever, actually. Once this shitty period of your life is over, you’re going to shine šŸ™‚ xxx

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You actually have no idea what that means to me! I’m sitting here smiling like an idiot now! Thank you! I couldn’t have done it without your support!xxxxx

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      4. Good, hopefully that should overcome your illness! šŸ˜€ I reckon you could, because you’re made of some type of titanium, but it’s been a pleasure and I’ve really loved getting to know you šŸ™‚ xxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You’re too sweet šŸ™‚ hard as nails, I have to be to change the world;) and meet so many wonderful people like you a long the way. Please stay strong and remember whatever happens I’m here for you!xxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Indeed! šŸ™‚ And I’m sure you will šŸ™‚ Aw bless haha, I’m not wonderful, but I do try my best :D. And the same to you too! Whatever happens, you’ll always be able to turn to me for help xxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      7. If I didn’t believe it was true I wouldn’t have said it;) I know it’s cliche, but if you believe in yourself, anything is possible! This is not the end, just another chapter to our story….I’m going no where by the way and I hope you’ll stay by my side too šŸ™‚ xxxxx

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      8. Of course I will! You speak so many wise words šŸ™‚ You’ll never get rid of me, I’m afraid. Also, are you able to give a link to the attachment you were sent here, just to see if I could open it?xxxxx

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      9. Me again;) you’re going to get sick of seeing my name in your notifications, sorry about that. Just wanted to let you know CL is playing up, it hasn’t posted my reply and will now not let me log on….I’m not ignoring you, promise xxx

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    1. Hi šŸ™‚ With no disrespect to you at all, I don’t tend to give out my personal details online. Although I’m sure you’re a perfectly good person, I think sharing my contact information online could potentially make me vulnerable. It’s a shame there’s no private chat on here actually, it would be a useful feature x

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you so much, that’s such a nice thing to hear, and also such a great thing for you to be doing. It didn’t sound weird of creepy, but I guess living in the 21st century means that you have to be careful-and not because of you, but because of everyone else who could see it as well. But I definitely will take a look, and it’s also something that I think you should continue with šŸ™‚

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