The mental health services for children and adolescents in the UK are failing many vulnerable members of society. It is thought that the funding for this vital area of care was cut by £50m during the course of the last parliament.
Two years ago, in the spring of 2013, I started to seek help for a numerous amount of difficulties I was experiencing. It started with a trip to see the GP, who later told me that she would refer me to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services). But when CAMHS received my referral, they rejected it, telling me that I didn’t “fit their criteria.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand why not-or indeed, what their criteria actually was. It had become a thing of common knowledge that the service only tended to see young people who engaged in self harm, or were deemed to be a risk to themselves, which looking back, was definitely true. With great guilt and shame, I took it upon myself to become one of them. Intellectually, I knew that it wasn’t the solution to my problems-but that didn’t change my feelings. Being the result of a downwards mental spiral, I didn’t feel as if I had another choice. It was also a cry for help to a world that wouldn’t listen to words. Not attention-seeking, but attention-needing. I wasn’t doing any severe damage to myself, just some minor abrasions, like cat scratches, and I think because of this, I was overlooked.
I was eventually put on the waiting list for CAMHS, but it was eight months until I came face to face with a therapist, and by that point, I had deteriorated rapidly. A pattern of staff leaving, causing shortages, seemed to emerge, and subsequently, over the course of a year, I was passer from pillar-to-post until I was assigned to a woman who told me that she was not willing to start therapy until I stopped self harming, which had become my primary coping mechanism and also somewhat of an addiction. By this time, the frequency and severity of the injuries had increased slightly. Among other things, I tried to explain to her that physical self destruction was more of a symptom of a psychological issue, and therefore shouldn’t be the focus of all our sessions-but we couldn’t see eye-to-eye and my case at CAMHS was closed.
From then on, I remained completely unsupported by the service. In retrospect, that was probably the trigger for my A and E visits, that took place having been amidst a complete breakdown. They sent a crisis team on one occasion, but even then, I felt that their only reason for showing was to tick a box-so that they wouldn’t be held liable if I killed myself that night. It was somewhat of a conveyor belt. In mid-December 2014, they offered me yet another place on their waiting list, telling me that alternative therapy was being planned, but that it could be as far away as September this year.
Later on after the incidents, I would always wonder if |I had done enough and, wrongly, blame myself for not hurting myself even more prolifically than I already had done. I used the false logic that, if I had, I might have received help. But after a while, I came to the realisation that there was nothing I could have done that would have caused them to support me.
And that’s terrible. Almost negligent. Children shouldn’t feel as if they have to up the ante by hurting themselves because they are too desperate to keep suffering alone. Or that their self harm somehow carries a sense of failure, as it does not require hospital treatment. But even the therapists themselves seem unable to look past the physical side of the pain. In 2014, about 6700 young people aged 10-14 were admitted to hospital , having deliberately harmed themselves in some way-and being one of those, it makes me wonder just how many of those cases could have been prevented if we had high quality early intervention.
At the end of a long battle, I was fortunate enough to receive funding from more distant family members, contributing towards the cost of private therapy, which came as a huge financial strain. I am grateful for my luck, and despite still having a long fight ahead, I feel as if I now have a support system in place.
But my heart still goes out to those parents, who, within 21st century, cannot source the appropriate resources that they so desperately need. What will happen to their children? It makes me wonder if they’ll still be here to witness the improvements in the system that are so frequently talked about.
The government has promised to invest £150m into children’s mental health services. Until then, it will remain a case of the survival of the fittest, and I can only hope that the Conservatives will begin to realise that we need a welfare state-but somehow, I highly doubt that. Otherwise, young people across the UK will continue to fall through the gaps.
A mental health service that makes you wait for the help you need! I’m so sorry you had to go through all this, but you were so strong and we’re all so proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too, you’ve made it through! 🙂 I really hope this will change so that people can get the attention and help they need. xo
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Thank you! I know, it is terrible. I’m really grateful for your support 🙂 x
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Reblogged this on perksofbeinganawksunitato and commented:
A sadly common example of how the system has failed people but happily also a story of how someone managed to stay strong and get better nevertheless. Please, raise awareness of the failing Mental Health system in the UK. We need change.
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Thank you! Hopefully one day people will take notice of us 😉
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I must say I’m honesty impressed with this post and your honesty and bravery regarding your own problems; using your experience to try and make a positive difference in the world. I’m happy that you’re now doing better, but have sympathy for you about how the system failed you, like its failed so many others. If you ever need a friend to talk to or a shoulder to lean on I’m always here. I guess I must say keep up the good work. I bet you’re doing your parents proud, you? More so, however, you should be proud. Look how far you’ve come; from a terrible addiction to self harm, to speaking openly about your experiences to inspire change and help others. You’re amazing and have also just gained another reader. I cant wait for your next post.
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Thank you! I think you might be my long lost twin 🙂 Of course, I’m always here for you too, I was hugely impressed when I read your article, we must fight this right wing fascism together! 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂 I know, it is a huge issue, which is why it’s so important to vote. It’s important that we elect a party who will care for the vulnerable in society 🙂
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Sorry for only just getting round to reading your posts but this is heart wrenching stuff that really needs to be brought to light as an issue. Your writing style is excellent by the way! 😀
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*An issue within society I meant to say* whoops 🙂
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wow, you’ve come so far and been through so much! your actually so good at writing. I’ve also been to CAMHS for self harm reasons and I just felt they didn’t really care, I ended up just lying to them so I could stop having to go to appointments. I’ve helped myself now, I feel it was better. I’m always here if you ever need to talk at all.
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Thank you! Yes I know, they are hugely underfunded, and unfortunately it’s young people like me and you that have to suffer as a result. I’m really glad you’ve managed to help yourself though, I’m still getting there 🙂 And thank you, obviously I’m here for you as well 🙂
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You asked me to look at your blog and I figured you seemed like a nice person, so why not?
What I’ve seen is really hard to simply put into words.
Your talent for writing can’t even be matched by most adults. I’m nearly sixteen now and I’ve never seen anyone your age who has such an extensive vocabulary. With your ability to write you’re going to be able to show people just how serious this matter really is. I’m excited to see where this blog goes but definitely don’t give up. You have a lot of talent and the experience behind it to do something amazing. And thanks for the comment earlier. ^-^
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Thank you so much, that’s such a lovely thing to hear 🙂 It’s really nice to hear people’s feedback, and I’m really enjoying the experience. I can’t put into words how much that means to me x
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Thank you Rick, love you loads 🙂 xxx
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A very personal and heart written account of such a huge problem – it highlights the lack of empathy and practical support that governments past and particularly present allocate to this issue – there is basically little or no support for children who experience the problems that you have highlighted. Power to your Blog !!!! Hopefully some politician may see it ! Xxxx
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Fucking hell, you’ve been through so much and yet you’re still here. You’re incredible. If you’re ever feeling shit, please just email me (aleve44@hotmail.com). I know I’m just an internet stranger but I’m here for you x
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Thank you, that means a lot to me! 🙂 Likewise, I’m here if you need me too 🙂 x
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Trust me, this blogging community has helped me out more times than I can count so it’s not a problem 🙂 And thank you 🙂
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That’s so nice, and yes, that’s part of the reason I started. I’m really glad it has worked out for you, we’ll definitely keep in contact :)x
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