Every day I come across photos of women that have been photoshopped in the most misleading way, setting the example that to be objectified is a social norm. Beauty and attraction are measured by the size of breasts, the curves of hips and by the amount if make-up an individual decides to wear. But what has happened to the aspiration of kindness, the intelligence that makes a person shine? Beauty is undefined.
When we see women walking down the street, we ask of them to reveal their flesh by wearing crop tops and shorts, and display disgust and disinterest if a woman is somehow inadequate by our standards.
When we hear that a woman sleeps around, we shame her, label her a “slut”, but when a man brags about the number of girls he’s had, we congratulate him, and he goes up in all of his friend’s estimation. And when a man gets wrecked as a result of alcohol consumption, it’s heroic, but when you’re of the opposite sex, it’s irresponsible.
And yet we turn to the victims, we ask “what were you wearing?”, as if we are deciding the cause of their rape. We forget that, actually, we were the one’s who bullied them into dressing “provocatively”, into feeling the hunger, the desire to be “good enough”.
A woman could walk through the street half naked with a sign saying “help yourself”, but when it comes down to it, the moment of consent, if she declines an offer, her word is final. She might get arrested for public indecency, but nothing excuses rape. It’s a terrible, inhumane crime, and nothing should empower a sense of empathy for the scum of a human being who took it upon themself to carry out the vile act.
The blaming, sickening attitudes towards victims of sexual abuse has to be put to an end. Rape is not caused by short skirts, tight t-shirts, too much alcohol or flirting. It is caused by rapists.
Thank you for this. π
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That’s okay! I was actually thinking of redoing this topic, but in more detail-I wrote this a while ago now, and I think there’s more to add. But thank you so much for reading! I hope, in some way, it was useful π
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I do that sometimes…..add stuff later. That is the beautiful thing about having a blog. Your words are always there and you can go back and add things as needed.
I like the way you write. π
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I agree-it’s like a notepad that you can edit π Thank you so much-I don’t have a lot of confidence in my writing: but I suppose it is a way to share a message with lots of people. Your blog is pretty awesome too! π
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Aw, thanks….. :o) With the exception of “The Darkest Part of Me”, right? Not sure if awesome is the word for that one, unless you’re critiquing technical skills. π
Take care!
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…Was the one about childhood abuse? Because I remember that, and it was awesome. Incredibly heartbreaking, but so bravely told. It takes one hell of a lot of courage to talk so openly about rape-I personally think you’re quite exceptional! And I am truly amazed by your ability to speak out and challenge misconceptions. You deserve happiness and must never tell yourself otherwise! x
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Haha, I don’t, trust me. And thank you for taking the time to read it…. It is honestly the first time I’ve been able to share, thanks to the amazing support of people here, people like you…
But mostly I like to be silly and playful on my blog…. π
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Hey! I thought I’d reply to your comments here haha π That’s brilliant, and also what blogging is all about really. It was amazing. Although being silly and playful is great, it’s also very good that you have a safe space to talk, and where people will listen.
I don’t have aspirations to be a writer as such-although I would like to keep on doing it as a hobby and see if anything comes of it. I’m quite set on Neuroscience-it’s a fascinating career path π
I think you’re incredible and deserve the best in life-especially after having such a horrific start x
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I have to say I am so moved by your writing. I haven’t gone all out and ever commented but this post was…. just wow. I totally agree, the world has got to change it’s prospective about stuff like this! Keep going girl! π
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Thank you so much π I know, it’s an unhealthy attitude that society has, but hopefully if enough people speak up, that will change xx
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So very true. As a sexual assault victim I was asked this question so many times. I could have been walking around naked, it still does not give someone the right to touch me. This is very well written!
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Thank you π I know, I 100% agree, and I will defend that to the death. Credit to you for coming so far by the way, you’re really very amazing x
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Thank you! But I had an amazing support system and almost 10 years to learn how to deal with what happened, it’s not easy but slowly I’ve got to the point where I don’t mind talking about it π
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Of course, that’s something that must have been incredibly hard to get through, but I do admire you because I don’t know if I’d be as strong as you if I were in your position. It’s the way you keep on offering your help to others as well, it’s obvious you want to change the world for the better. π
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